


ALPHA BIRD

by mac2809



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, It has no manners, Nat is not amused, Sassy Clint, Unrequited Love, clint blames the waffle, clint gets dating advice from the team, sam and clint compete for Nat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 04:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2136795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mac2809/pseuds/mac2809
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some men storm out of rooms, slamming doors in their wake; others cannot help, but leave marks of their rage around themselves, but Clint. . . Clint was perfectly contempt with intensely chewing the mutilated waffle sitting in front of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Angry Waffle Stabbing

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, this story will have several chapters so stick around if you want more sassy Clint. The hearing aids the archer has in this fic are built in (CIC) because I thought that with all the flips, and shit he does it’d be more practical. Also losing them during a mission, or having them taken away would put him at a disadvantage. You can turn those off with Bluetooth. Reviews, and feedback are always appreciated. Enjoy!

Some men storm out of rooms, slamming doors in their wake; others cannot help, but leave marks of their rage around themselves, but Clint. . . Clint was perfectly contempt with intensely chewing the mutilated waffle sitting in front of him. His knuckles had long turned white from the death grip he kept on the helpless fork used to repeatedly stab the Eggo waffle he had chosen as his next victim. Absorbed in perfecting the art of torment through maple syrup submersion, he was oblivious to the strawberry blonde who sat only a few seats to his left, sipping away at her favourite brand of premium coffee. Her eyes held a glint of amusement as she heard the source of the archer’s foul mood. Natasha Romanov’s laughter was mingled to the Avengers newly welcomed member, Sam Wilson, as they shared stories of their misadventures with each other in the kitchen only a few feet away. Whether intentional, or not, the web weaved by this black widow had entangled both birds without much effort.

* * *

 He heard the footsteps moments before she appeared on the balcony beside him, with a disapproving gaze. Hawkeye glanced down at the pair of binoculars he had been using moments earlier, giving her a small shrug in response.

“What? Can’t a man bird watch?” he asked innocently, before bringing the binoculars up to his face once again.

“I see you’ve taken a liking to _falcons_ in particular,” she remarked while peering down at the coffee shop below where the man in question was paying for _two_ coffees.

“Well, what can I say? Wouldn’t want this one to get into a . . . sticky situation.” He smirked at his own choice of words.

“I never thought of you as the jealous kind,” She teased.

“What? Sorry? I’m afraid I can’t hear you, literally.”

The man proceeded to carelessly toss over his phone into her un-expecting hands. The screen was cracked in several spots (most likely caused by a fellow team mate’s slow reflexes) forcing the Strawberry blonde to squint in order to read what was written. He had managed to deactivate his hearing aids with the help of Bluetooth on his handset. She shot him an exasperated look before turning them back on. Rolling her eyes in temporary defeat, she sat down next to Clint.

 It took him a few minutes before giving in to Pepper’s persistent presence. He handed over the binoculars reluctantly, like child handing over his favourite toy. They sat in silence while he pulled out an arrow from his boot, and  expertly twirled it between his fingers, a reminder of his history with the circus.  He probably has one hidden under his pillow she thought, amused at the prospect.

“I’m here if you want to talk about _it,_ ” she said voice gentle.

“Talk about what?” he replied absent-mindedly; his eyes still focused on the café below.

“Clint. . .”

He met her gaze with upraised eyebrows, and raised up his hands in defence.  

“What? There’s like literally nothing- _nothing_ \- to talk about.  Well, not literally, but still.”

“Oh, please! You spent the morning stabbing away at some unfortunate waffle, wh-”

“Maybe I’m just not a morning person. Ever think of that?”

“Fine. Explain the binoculars then,” she answered, arms crossed, and an eyebrow raised.

Check, and mate.

“Alright, fine.”

He stroked the back of his neck, seeming to be weighing the pro, and cons of the situation.

“Ah, where do I begin? Clint and Nat sittin’ in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes feelings, second comes rejection, then comes another bird guy, but _damn it_ I’m the alpha bird,” He finished.

He glanced over, satisfied with the explanation, or himself, most likely, before returning his attention to sky, studying the clouds or what not. The strawberry blonde eyed him curiously. He was a lot like Tony in a way she thought; they both hid their feelings, and emotions using humour.

“Well, did you ask her why?” Pepper inquired.

“You’re supposed to?” he replied clueless.

She let out a loud sigh, and smiled to herself. _Damn it Hawkeye_. She reached over, and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder.

“Tell you what; I think I might have an idea.”

He eyed her suspiciously. She spent too much time with Tony Stark to be _completely_ trust worthy, still he gave her a questioning look, curiosity etched across his features.

“Why don’t you ask the team for help?” she suggested.

_Aw, shit._


	2. Tony Spots Clint

“Buy her something expensive.”

The archer ignored the familiar voice. He was currently preoccupied with something _much_ more important.  His hands were buried into the coat of a joyful Labrador Retriever . The dog had been tied outside, awaiting his master’s return when he had come across it. So naturally, Clint had bent down to say hello to the little guy. He sported a white t-shirt, and an old pair of jeans he kept in the back of his closet.

“Where do you find all these dogs, Barton?” Tony inquired; he swears the man was always petting a new one.

“The dogs, and I are one.”

The billionaire gazed down at his team mate with a concerned look. This guy could really use some therapy he thought, but then again, so do I. The dog’s owner walked out of the supermarket holding bags in one hand, and glared at them suspiciously as she untied the animal.  Tony gave her a tight lipped smile.

“Please forgive my friend. He’s just a little lonely these days,” the man apologized.

“ _Excuse you_ ,” Clint retorted.

Both men stood as they watched the dog disappear around a corner with its mistress leading the way. Tony reached up, and placed a firm hand on the archer’s shoulder in an effort to gain his attention.

“Look, I’ve got a full proof plan. Works like a charm _every_ time,” Stark said rather proudly, waving around his free hand for emphasise. 

Clint gave his partner a sceptical look. This could only end badly.

“Buy her an island”

Lost in self admiration he misses the look Clint gives him. _Is  guy for  real?_ Noting his partner’s lack of enthusiasm he glances over to see an unimpressed avenger.

“Oh, right. Not exactly in _your_ budget. What else do women like again?” Stark pondered out loud.

“Jewellery?” the archer answered, unsure of where this conversation was headed.

The master mind snapped his fingers at the suggestion. _Brilliant_.

“Atta boy!” he said “Get her something nice from that store down the street, ya?”

Satisfied with his work, he gave Barton a pat on the back before he headed off to wherever he had planned to go before disrupting the man’s day. It couldn’t be _that_ bad of an idea he reflected , and he had nothing else planned for the rest of the afternoon either, or week when he thought about it. With a shrug he walked down the quaint jewellery shop a few blocks down.

Once inside, he was greeted warmly by the older woman standing behind one of the many glass counters in the centre of the shop.  Her salt, and pepper hair was carefully tied back into a small bun, and she wore a pastel dress over her frail frame. He kept both hands shoved into his jean pockets as she showed him an array of  bracelets, and necklaces.

“This tends to be a favourite with women,” she informed him, designating a silver Pandora bracelet with a bony finger.

“No. No, that’s not really. . . _her_.”

“Maybe this one will do the trick,” she said, starting to run of options.

“Lady, is that a _heart_?”

“Yes, it is, sir.”

He groaned. Jewellery, man. Why did _everything_ have to be heart shaped? He hastily scanned the displays in a last act of desperation. That’s when he saw _it._

“What’s this one?” He asked, designating the display with a finger.

By the time the clerk had made her way over to where he stood, he had his face pressed against the glass to get a better view.

“Is _that_ an arrow?” Clint inquired, never taking his eyes off the silver necklace.

“I believe so, _sir_ ,” she replied, a little taken a back by his behaviour.

“I’ll take it.”

* * *

It was by pure coincidence that Hawkeye had taken several wrong turns also known as the route to Tasha’s room as he was wandering through the Stark tower ventilation system for amusement purposes only. It was also by a twist of fate that he had arrived just on time  to see her reaction to the petite box he had left on her nightstand.

She froze in her tracks the moment she saw it on her bedside, waiting to be opened. _What the fuck?_  Her eyes scanned the room from top to bottom in hopes of finding a clue of who might have intruded her sanctuary. She approached carefully, picking it up as though it might contain something hazardous. Her lips curved into a grand smile as she opened the small gift. _Oh, it’s pretty cute._ Without skipping a beat she clasped it around her slender neck, and strolled over to her mirror in order to admire it. Someone knocked at the door. Clint sat up in his hiding spot, intrigued by who it might be.

“Come in! Doors unlocked,” she called out, eyes still fixed on her neck.

Sam Wilson appeared in her doorway moments later, dressed in jogging attire. She turned away from the mirror to welcome him. They were supposed to go for a run.

“What ya got there?” he said nodding towards her neck, having noticed her new ornament.

“A gift, actually.”

“Oh? From whom?” he asked casually, eyeing the thing in question.

Natasha shrugged in response, but her eyes held a glint of hilarity in them. She knew exactly _who_ had snuck into her apartment, and the idea amused her. 

“Caw, caw motherfucker” Barton mumbled from up. 

It was game on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two, already? Yep. I have no life, whoooops. The following chapters will most likely resemble this one in the way that Clint receives advice from a team member, and puts it to good use. If some of you guys are rooting for Sam, let me know (I'll make sure to give him a chance, and even out the playing field). Also, let me know which Avenger you'd like to see giving dating advice next! Reviews, and feedback are always appreciated as well.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wish to request a story, or anything of the sort, like follow us, you can reach me, and my friend aka the person I bug the shit out of when I write, and my beta at our mutual tumblr: All-American-booty.tumblr.com
> 
> It is a marvel centered blog
> 
> Don't forget to review! I'm looking to improve!


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